


SOUL of Apathy

by HoneySpark



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Badass Reader, Gaster rescued from the Void, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Mages, One Determination SOUL, Other, Reader Is Not Chara, Reader Is Not Frisk, Slow Burn, Sorcerers, Souls, Unknown SOUL, be prepared for a wild ride, poor goatbro, this is gonna be angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-01 15:21:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10924587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoneySpark/pseuds/HoneySpark
Summary: Humanity was different.After making their way out of the Underground, they could see it all too well. Sure, it looked like some of the modern settings in Alphys' animes, but it was clear there was a social dynamic not depicted as well as those shows did.Human elite consisted of a group known as 'Sorcerers', humans that had immense magical powers. Their strength had grown since the war, past the stage of 'Mages'. That was used to describe magical children, the adults had much more power in their arsenal.The moment he saw you, he was blinded by your brilliance. Your billowing robes, brimming intelligence, and the dark SOUL that he couldn't figure out. Yes, brilliant. And dangerous.(W. D. Gaster x Sorcerer!Reader)





	1. Baring Your SOUL

"The monsters have been freed from Mt. Ebott." 

This sent murmurs throughout the room, though you were silent. Sitting at the head of the table, you usually didn't interject unless needed. Your assistant stood at your side, her glimmering blue SOUL of Patience fluttering. She was writing down what was said at the meeting. 

"What should we do?" A man with a SOUL of Justice asked at the table. He spoke with a Southern drawl, "I mean, there was a reason why the ol' Mages sealed 'em away, right?" 

Another man, this one with a SOUL of Perseverance, spoke up, "I've read any documentation of it, and it seems that humans were paranoid that monsters would take their SOULs. In the end, it was only paranoia. Not a single human was killed in the war, not one SOUL taken." 

"I think that at times like this, monsters will be discriminated against by the humans in the first place. I believe we should accept them in the Sorcerer society." The woman who just spoke was the SOUL of Kindness. She always brought cookies to these meetings, which everyone was happy about. 

"I don't like it, though." The SOUL of Bravery groaned, downing yet another energy drink and crushing it in her hand. "What if these monsters got hostile? Spending years down in that hole would be cruel to anyone." 

Integrity spoke up, folding his hands. He acted a lot like his brother, Perseverance. "Either way, we need to be prepared for their best... or their worst. There's no telling how they'll behave around humans, or Sorcerers. After all, it's all their fault they were sealed away in the first place." 

You spoke up for the first time since the meeting began, surprising the others. You hardly ever talked during these meetings, merely listening and observing. "As I'm aware, the monsters have a human ambassador. While they may be just a child, as I understand it, they're highly intelligent, not to mention they freed the monsters almost single-handedly." 

Justice bit his tongue in surprise, letting out a slew of curses. Kindness merely gasped. Perseverance shook his head hard, loosening his glasses' hold on his face, skewing them. Integrity unfolded his hands, eyes widening. Bravery crushed her can even harder than before, the aluminum edges cutting into her hands. And Patience, poor Patience, nearly fell over in shock. 

"T-That can't be!" Kindness exclaimed. "It must have been a magically talented child! They would need the equivalent of seven human SOULs!" 

"Exactly," you started, eyeing the table and the others sitting with you. "Which is why I'd like to arrange a meeting with them, and a few monster leaders as I see fit." 

"No, this is wrong." Perseverance said, straightening his glasses. "This is highly dangerous to propose. You could be hurt, killed! Possibly even having your SOUL taken!" 

You gave him a chilling look. "Weren't you the one saying that the old humans' concerns were just paranoia? You sound just like them." He went bright red in embarrassment, and you continued from there, "I am not concerned about the danger. There's a reason I'm sitting at the head of this table. Do what you must to organize the meeting. Now there is something I must go do." 

Standing up from the table, the other six SOUL traits saluted you, as you left the room. The door closed behind you, and you were alone. 

Yes, there was a reason you sat at the head of that table, why you commanded so much authority, even among the most powerful Sorcerers in the world. _You_ were the most powerful. A strengthened SOUL, transcendent magic, and a long lifespan made you strong. It felt good, and lonely at the same time. No one could match your might, and it made power a very unfulfilling struggle. 

There were other downsides to this long strife of yours, one being your SOUL. It was strong, but damaged. The surface was covered in a black, sludge-like substance you couldn't wipe away. What color was under it? It was just black. You weren't sure if a black SOUL even had a trait.  

For now though, you called it Apathy.  

Making your way toward your home, a less-than-humble abode. Pretty much anyone who was a Sorcerer lived in luxury. It was a rather unfair social dynamic, but it was one set before you born. Despite being strong, you couldn't change a societal norm.  

Your house wasn't empty; a few humans had taken up an opportunity to work as your servants. You treated them well, and they usually worked without incident. For now, though, it seems they had gone to sleep. It was very late, almost three in the morning. You had retired to your quarters, beginning your daily ritual of staring at your cursed SOUL. 

It was sinister, how it looked. Black, and it looked like it was dripping ink. You let the sludge coat your fingers, as you did every time, and just like that, made it disappear. The liquid on your fingers disappeared along with it. 

You felt your consciousness slipping away, laying down on your bed. As you stared at the ceiling, you gave yourself away to sleep. 

~ 

"WOWIE, SANS!" Papyrus exclaimed, staring at his brand-new convertible. "FINALLY, I CAN CRUISE, AND I'M NOT SNOOZING!" 

Sans' perpetual grin seemed to grow wider as he watched his brother climb into his bright red car.  "heh. sweet ride, bro. looks like your bed. are you sure you're not _dreaming_?" 

Papyrus frowned and rolled his eye sockets at Sans. "SOMETIMES I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH YOU. ANYWAY, COME WITH ME, I'M TAKING IT ON A TEST RUN!" 

The shorter skeleton chuckled at his brother. "i would bro, but tori wants me to watch the flower while she and frisk are at some meeting. i gotta get over there asap." 

"NO NEED TO FRET, BROTHER!" Papyrus looked proud of himself, "FOR I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL GET YOU TO QUEEN TORIEL'S HOUSE WITHOUT ANY TROUBLE! GET IN, AND BUCKLE UP FOR SAFETY!" 

Sans really loved his brother sometimes. Well, all the time. He'd do anything for the younger skeleton; defend his honor, tell bad puns, read books to him, and put up with his infrequent narcissism. After what he's seen from humans, life is precious to him, but Papyrus' moreso than ever. 

Papyrus wasn't an aggressive driver, and he was conscious about all of his passengers' safety. It's part of how he passed his driver's test so quickly while Undyne was struggling. Her expressway driving methods were dubious at best, and at worst, she was throwing spears at other cars. 

They had reached Toriel's house as they were getting ready. She was dressed in her robes baring the Delta Rune, and Frisk in a simple dress shirt and pants. On the shirt, a red heart was sewn on the breast pocket. It looked a little choppy; Toriel did mention she was teaching the child how to sew, perhaps this was their way of practicing. 

But who the brothers didn't expect to see was Dr. Gaster, who was standing with Toriel and Frisk. He had a look of indifference, and glasses were over his eyes. Sans stared at him briefly, in which the doctor returned, but then shrugged. "heya tori. we're here to watch the demon flower. oh, by the way, pap's new car is out front. go check it out." 

Frisk stared at the luxury convertible, then signed excitedly to Papyrus about taking a ride in it. "OF COURSE, HUMAN. I'D BE HAPPY TO GIVE YOU A LIFT SOMETIME! PERHAPS TO SCHOOL ONE DAY?" 

Toriel had come into the room, holding a potted Flowey, who looked grumpy as usual. While a lot of his violent tendencies had been pacified, he was still hostile and confrontational. A side effect of not having a SOUL, supposedly. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate this, Sans. This meeting is very important to the future of monsters. And when they asked for Frisk to come meet them..." 

"don't sweat it, tori. i'll keep an eye on the flower, make sure he won't have a _bad time_." Sans winked at Flowey, who scoffed and said something along the lines of, "Bite me, Smiley Trashbag." 

Toriel and Frisk smiled at Sans, and Gaster wore a ghost of one on his features. He spoke for the first time since the brothers got there. "We should leave if we want to be on time. They may take offense if we are not punctual." Shrugging on a black coat, Gaster left the house, followed by Toriel and Frisk. The latter gave a happy wave goodbye, which Papyrus excitedly returned. 

"WELL BROTHER, I HAVE TO LEAVE TOO. UNDYNE WANTS TO HAVE ANOTHER COOKING LESSON TODAY. AND SINCE DR. GASTER IS WITH QUEEN TORIEL AND THE HUMAN, ALPHYS WILL BE JOINING US WITH HER DAY OFF." Papyrus gave his older brother a quick hug before heading out the door himself, leaving Sans and Flowey alone. 

"… hey flower." 

"…  What do you want?" 

"want to watch me flood the kid's computer with visual puns?" 

Flowey couldn't stop himself from snickering, "Of course. Their password is 'hopesandmemes', by the way." 

Sans chuckled, "oh man, that's too funny." 

~ 

The meeting building was extravagant, to say the least. Sorcerers were extremely prosperous, attaining wealth and fame all proportional with their power. Judging by the setting, whoever Frisk, Toriel, and Gaster were going to meet... was a huge deal. 

There was a woman standing in the front; dirty blonde hair, dressed professionally in a navy blue pantsuit. "I would assume that the three of you are Frisk, Toriel, and Gaster." When they nodded, she continued talking, "A bit early, but it's better to be early than late. Please follow me, the Head Sorcerer will see you now. " 

Exchanging wary glances, Gaster and Toriel followed Frisk inside of the building. There were a few twists and turns until they reached an elevator. "It will take a moment for us to reach the top floor." 

The ride up was quiet, but the woman in the pantsuit seemed to get even more fidgety as they climbed the floors. Toriel eyed the woman's name tag, which read 'Patience', and had a simple light blue heart over it. "Your name is... Patience?" She asked, which caused the woman to jump. 

"N-No... I'm one of the Seven Chairmen. We refer to ourselves as our SOUL types during our meetings. The Head Sorcerer is one of us." Patience glanced, looking at them directly for the first time since their arrival. "The Head Sorcerer... is a truly terrifying person. While they do not have a temper, they... are the most powerful sorcerer in the world. Do not rattle them." 

Then the elevator opened, revealing a long, carpeted hallway leading to a grand set of doors. Patience slowly pushed them open, revealingly the Head Sorcerer themselves. They wore gray robes with a sash around their waist. They slowly got up from their seat, a dark red cape trailing behind them. You spoke, "I was about to go downstairs myself to see if you had arrived, but I no longer see the need to. For the duration of the meeting, you may call me Apathy." You held out a gloved hand to shake, which they all took tentatively. 

'Apathy?' Frisk signed, which confused the Sorcerer. When Toriel translated, they nodded their head. They apologized for their lack of sign language. 'Is that... what your SOUL is like?' 

Apathy looked away uncomfortably. "… it's what I speculate, but truthfully, I don't know exactly what it is." They revealed their black, dripping SOUL. Frisk had a soundless gasp, Toriel stared in shock, and Gaster nearly spit out his coffee. "Judging by your reactions, you've never seen this before?" 

They all nodded, but what had Gaster truly gaping was what he felt from their SOUL: Void Energy. Just like the prison that kept him for ten years. Feeling that horrible presence gave him flashbacks of that empty, SOULless place. That is, until Frisk found him and was able to lead him out of that room they found him in. 

Apathy hid their SOUL once again, flustered. "Anyway, let's get on with the meeting. Our first order of business, if monsters can stay on the surface." 


	2. Broken Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Humans are fickle, no? Always desiring to be more loved and more important than anything else."
> 
> ~
> 
> In which the talks occur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so you have a past. Buckle up, kids. The ride's only gonna get bumpier.
> 
> Today's chapter was inspired by: L by ICE. (I'm doing this now; basically a song I listened to during the creation of a chapter.)
> 
> Updates will probably be frequent, finals are just about finishing up and I haven't started my job yet. Please comment/critique to your heart's desire.

"… I've decided, under little thought, to allow monsters to live among humans and Sorcerers. But I must lay down the ground rules for any magical being." The trio had gotten over the initial shock of your SOUL, and had sat down at the other side of the table. You had fully caught their attention, their eyes trained on you. "… all magical beings, by law, are not allowed to reveal their powers in public areas. Doing so may cause a panic. This includes Cantrips, humans with minor magical powers, Sorcerers, and monsters." 

There were many legal documents on the table, each with lines at the bottom for signatures. The paperwork was always a hassle to read and go over, but it was a necessity, for the most part. "The obvious exception is in dire situations, or for the protection of human life. While their SOULs may be stronger than a monster's, their bodies are not." 

"What about the protection of monster life?" Gaster said, his expression stony and serious. "There are monster children and monsters without magical powers that cannot hope to defend themselves. These documents don't mention anything about protecting them." 

You knew he was testing you, trying to see your response. You fired back cooly, "These documents are fairly old, and haven't been updated in the time monsters have emerged from the Underground. Sign here please." You said that last part absentmindedly, with Frisk signing their name on the paper as 'Frisk Dreemurr'. 

Gaster wasn't convinced by your explanation yet, "Then why are monsters obligated to defend humans with their magic? That's what the contract says, does it not?" 

You gave a soft, humorless laugh. "Humans are fickle, no? Always desiring to be more loved and more important than anything else. They made the rule that way because many human politicians still believe that monsters don't deserve the same rights as humans. I'm making strides to correct that, however." 

"Are you telling me you're not only the most powerful sorcerer, but a government leader? Doesn't your political system involve 'checks and balances'?" Gaster seemed even more skeptical of you now, his eyes narrowing solely on you, 

You shook your head, folding your gloved hands on the table. You noticed that he was wearing gloves too, but unlike yours, his were a stark white. "Sorcerers, especially the Seven Chairmen, are seen as the defenders of humanity. We can take down threats that would endanger many lives. For instance, there was an unexpected volcano eruption a bit over two years ago. A troupe of Sorcerers, namely ones in Integrity's and Perseverence's divisions, were able to quell the lava and heal those who were gravely injured. 

"I am very persuasive to world leaders as a whole, and once I deem monsters as 'Not a Threat', anti-monster legislation will slowly filter away until it is a thing of the past." 

"And what makes you so certain that this will happen? As I understand it, humans _still_ are unaccepting of each other. They base their petty feuds on their skin, religions, and their politicians." Gaster was eyeing you coldly, as if blaming humanity's misdeeds on you. "How can you ensure our safety with a species that can't even save each other?" 

"A pessimistic view, but thoroughly founded. Human beings are untrustworthy, selfish, and bellicose." You said, giving a stare that matched his intensity. Toriel and Frisk were silent throughout your argument, unsure and unwilling to add anything. "However, like everything else human, their attitudes will fade over time. Monsters live much longer, as I understand it. They outweigh human beings in patience and tolerance." 

Toriel decided to diverge you and Gaster's quarrel, drawing attention to a separate issue. "You speak as if you are not human. If you do not mind, care to explain it to us." 

You gave a low chuckle, though there was no amusement in your tone. "That is easy. I have been alive so long I no longer consider myself human. If I remember correctly, I was born about 50 years after the monsters had been sealed away. Perhaps it is the nature of my SOUL that has allowed me to live for so long, I do not know. I do not feel like fading away any time soon, though, as if I am a timeless entity. Is it Determination? Or my own Apathy? Once again, I do not know." 

 _Something._  

 _Something about what you said..._  

"A timeless entity? Is it as if... you don't feel the passage of time?" Gaster asked quietly, to which you turn to him in surprise. 

"… that is correct. Time, to me, is an irrelevant thing." 

The Void. 

 ** _The Void._**  

No doubt about it, you were connected directly to the Void. Your long life, your dripping SOUL... it all made sense. Suddenly, he felt all sorts of feelings toward you: respect, sympathy, _awe._  

Frisk signed to Toriel, something about a test in class they needed to study for. When Toriel translated for you, you nodded your head in understanding. The both of them bid you farewell with handshakes and a slice of butterscotch-cinnamon pie. Apparently, Toriel wanted to bring a snail pie to the talks, but Frisk went against it. With no other option, the goat monster made the sweeter alternative. 

Gaster stayed back to briefly speak with you. "Upon observation, I discovered something that you may want to hear." You turned to him with interest in your eyes, which was the cue to continue. "The nature of your SOUL, your lack of perception to time... this can be explained with a phenomenon known as the Void, a place in which I have experienced myself. I will not go into much detail, but there was a time where I fell into one of my creations. My physicality was torn apart, scattering me into the Void, a timeless, empty place where darkness constantly creeped onto your body." 

You couldn't help the chill that went down your spine when he detailed the Void. An endless hell where darkness knew no bounds... Where time meant nothing, where it could feel like years, and yet you would only be there for the slightest of moments. "How did your sanity survive such a place, much more yourself?" You asked with concern laced in your voice. 

Gaster looked away. "It was not an easy feat. There were many times where I felt like giving in to the darkness. However, I held on to my memories, who I used to be... then Frisk found me, and rescued me from that place." 

"That child is some sort of miracle worker." You noted. When Gaster agreed, you spoke again. "How much formal mage training have they gotten? If they can shatter the Barrier and rescue you from that hell... they must be some powerful mage." 

Gaster looked at you with surprise. "… none. They rescued me purely by chance, and the Barrier... no one quite remembers what happened to it. Frisk was the only one conscious to see it happen, and even then they seem very uncomfortable about it. It seemed raw Determination alone performed these miracles." 

The scientist found it very hard not to laugh at your dumbfounded face. "I must accompany them now. We have more errands to run today. Perhaps we shall get together so I may study the true nature of your SOUL. I performed those experiments Underground, after all." 

You nod. "Yes, it will be nice to speak with someone who may know my immortal problem. Good day to you, Dr. Gaster. We will speak soon." 

As he left the room, shutting the door behind him, you could feel someone sliding their arms around your shoulders and singing your name in your ear. You didn't bother to turn around; you knew there was no one physically there. 

 _"We'll be together forever."_  

~ 

Your birth was a celebrated occasion. 

You were born in a village of mages, though their numbers were dwindling, their bloodlines were not strong. More and more non-magic children were born in the town. However, you were different. Not just because you had magic flowing through your veins, but because of your SOUL. 

This SOUL was seen as a good omen to the comeback of the mage population, and as such you were pampered beyond your wildest dreams. Food, gold, sway, you had it all. But doing this to you was neglecting the village, and the humans began to die out as the mages flourished. 

You will never forget the human you saved. 

They were around your age, with short brown hair and rosy cheeks. They were starving when you found them, and so you sacrificed your gifts for their life. Even at your young age, you had a developed sense of humility. You gave them those gifts in the town square, in front of the garden of golden flowers. 

After that day, you two began meeting up with each other. You quickly became friends, telling stories and playing games in the secrecy of an abandoned cottage. They told you they were the grandchild of one of the seven mages who created the Barrier, and you believed them. Their shining red SOUL told you everything you needed to know about their character. 

You had arranged a plan to run away together to the mountain the monsters were sealed under, but you were discovered by the village elders. You gave something else to them that day, exchanging your freedom for theirs. They promised they would find you again, before setting off for the mountain. You allowed yourself to be captured, just to buy them time. 

A few years passed and they never returned. You assumed they made it to the mountain or died. Either one was better then this village.  

"If you promise to be good, you may come out and walk the village." You accepted the elder's terms and you walked to the town square, back to the garden of golden flowers that you loved so dearly.  

But something was off about that cloudy day. And you knew it all too well when the tall goat monster landed in the golden flowers. They seemed peaceful enough, no one had seen a monster in years, but then you saw the heap in their arms. 

Your best friend. 

 ** _"Chara!!"_** You screamed and lashed out at the monster, who had killed and stolen your best friend's SOUL. Gathering your magic, you sent it as a blazing barrage. All were direct hits. All direct hits of your wrath. 

Even then the monster never fought back, letting himself fall victim to your fury. Before attacking him for the final time, the spell that would dust him forever, he spoke your name. "Please... I do not wish to fight. I wanted to fulfill Chara's final wish. Please, human, use your mercy." 

You trembled and faltered, breathing out a sob. You couldn't accept that your best and only friend was dead. But you also couldn't bring yourself to further harm someone who would not fight back. With another heart-wrenching sob, your spell deactivated, and you sank to the petals of the golden flowers. "Go... leave this place. Take them with you. They wouldn't have wanted to be buried here anyway." 

The goat smiled at you, blood trickling from his mouth. "Thank you human." He said your name again, and you bolted upright. 

"How did you...?" 

But he was already gone, leaving a trail of blood, dust, and the seeds of the golden flowers behind. 

~ 

You said nothing as you passed your servants in your home, and they understood. You clearly weren't in the mood for idle chitchat, much less come to dinner. They worked out who would take it to you in due time, and then they left you alone for the rest of the night. 

You engaged in your daily ritual once again, your SOUL still dripping the ink black substance onto your bare fingers. You were crying without a sound, remembering what you did all those years ago to that goat monster. Looking back, he bore striking resemblance to Toriel, but it was more than likely just a coincidence. 

 _"You feel awful for what you did, don't you?"_  

They were back. They looked like Chara, but this wasn't the friend you knew. This... thing had no emotions whatsoever, all they did was stare at you with wide red eyes and a plastered grin on their face.  

 _"I can't say I blame you, though. You were scared, and th_ _ose humans and the village elders would have made you do something about him anyway."_  

"I know my sins, Chara. Leave me." No matter how much you pled with them, this SOULless husk would never leave you to your peace of mind. 

 _"You're just like me."_ They sang your name again in an airy voice. _"Empty. While you may have a SOUL, you'll never experience true emotion like love and passion. Just like me indeed."_  

"Leave me!" You boomed, swiping a hand across their translucent form. While the illusion was gone, you still heard their voice loud and clear in your head. 

_"We'll be together forever, you and I."_


	3. Home is Where the Heart Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Actually, under Article I, Section A of the Monster Accords, monsters have every right to be on the Surface and own their own property and businesses just like humans can. Furthermore, under Article III, Section B, you can be charged with your intent to kill, just like if you committed these crimes against another human."
> 
> ~
> 
> In which brutal shutdowns happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, a bit of Reader's home-life is shown, casual Friday is a thing, and hey look, a new face!
> 
> Today's chapter was inspired by: The Disbelief Soundtrack by Flamesatgames. (Seriously, if you're a fan of Disbelief Papyrus or of really rad UT animations, go check it out!
> 
> I'm planning on making more SOA art, so go check out my dA or tumblr if you haven't done so!  
> fightandshine.tumblr.com  
> http://fabulousspark.deviantart.com/

_"You gave me food and water, and yet you don't know who I am." They spoke to you, after giving them the_ _af_ _orementioned_ _gifts that you had gotten as tribute to your power. You simply smiled at them, their wary expression beginning to fade._  

_"It's not fair that they give me more_ _tha_ _n_ _half the village, so I try to show humility when I can." You looked away, guilty of something that wasn't your fault. "Just because my SOUL is different doesn't mean I'm anything special. The humans shouldn't be mistreated this way."_  

_They stare at you for a moment, before grinning widely, "You don't like the_ _elders either? Here, come with me. I know a place we can hide for a_ _while." The grab your hand, tugging you along with them and carrying the food in their other hand. "What's_ _your_ _name?"_  

_After you told them, you were curious as well, "What's yours?"_  

_"Chara." They smiled at you again, their bright eyes and kind expression reassuring you. This Chara was alright in your book._  

_~_  

You awoke with a start, sweat trickling from your forehead. No matter how long ago it was, you could never get Chara out of your head. Glancing at the clock, it read 4:33. Might as well get up. Falling asleep would be difficult with thoughts of them constantly in your head. 

After a shower, you slipped on your gray robes and sash, neglecting the cape for now. Walking down the stairs, two of your servants, Viola and Thompson, were already awake and making breakfast. "Good morning, my liege." Thompson said, immediately setting your place at the head of the table. "Today's breakfast consists of strawberry crepes, vanilla cream French toast, poached eggs, and coffee to your taste." 

You did have a bit of a sweet tooth, but it was necessary to balance out the sweet with the bitter and savory. "Just black today. I'm going to be on my toes all day and I don't need the additives." 

"Very good, my liege." Thompson said, relaying your coffee order to Viola. "My liege, I regret to inform you that Ruria has caught a particularly nasty flu, and Mateo will be taking care of her for the day keep her health under control." 

"That's fine." You said, biting into your crepe. Delicious as usual, Thompson and Viola were phenomenal cooks. "I don't want her working if she's ill, and Mateo is a very good caretaker. It's fine to take breaks once in a while. Just make sure she gets plenty of bed rest. Is Deshi awake yet? I need to speak with him." 

Thompson nods. "Would you like me to get him for you?" When you nod, Thompson goes off to find him, while Viola stood on the sidelines, waiting for you to finish. 

Your servants were handpicked and trained by you, for the most part. They were all people who had lost their homes and families, until you found them. They were all distinctly different. Thompson was from the states, particularly hard-driven since leaving the armed forces. Viola was from Russia, a former skater who had been disowned after getting last place in an important competition. She had come from a line of Olympic athletes. Ruria was from Africa, surviving a disease that destroyed her village, killing her parents and older brother. Mateo had been a researcher, before his lab and colleagues had been attacked. His research and partners were stolen. Finally, Deshi was from China, moving far away from Communist tyranny.  

When Deshi came into the kitchen, you were done eating and Viola was cleaning the dishes. "Walk with me, Deshi. There's something I'd like to tell you." 

With a puzzled look, he walked behind you, waiting for you to speak. "I've decided to let you begin your mage training. While I still do not believe Ruria is ready for the mental strain, I believe that you have the mental strength to learn along the others." It was your fancy way of saying 'You're smart so I'll teach you magic.' 

Deshi nearly tripped over in shock, in which you gave him an amused glance. "M-My liege! While I do have interest in learning how to perform magic, I do not think it is necessary!" 

"On the contrary, attaining a certain degree of magical knowledge and prowess will effectively unchain you from me." You gave him another curious look, fully catching his attention. "Is that not what you want? The freedom to make your own decisions in the public eye? In your current state, your actions all reflect on me. Would you not like that freedom?" 

"That's... not it." He said, looking away. You stopped to give him that curious look again, and he began to explain himself. "While the offer is very grand and merciful, I admit, I like it here. We all do, we had just been looking for a way to tell you. You're kind and gracious of us, even when we make mistakes. None of us really has a desire to leave this place and you behind." 

Your curiosity was replaced by shock as he explained himself and the others. No wonder they were so apprehensive to magical studies; they didn't want to leave you. The thought nearly made you lose your normally stoic composure. "Is that how it is? Well, I'm a bit surprised that you feel this way. But... I will respect your wishes." 

You ended the conversation there, soon going back to your room and sliding the red cape on your shoulders. You called out to your servants that you were leaving, and they shut the front doors of your home behind you. Immediately after stepping outside, you quietly muttered a spell, then vanished from the spot you were in. All that was left behind was the black tinge of your magic. 

You appeared in the meeting room, the other mages already sitting down and in full robes. You sat in the seat at the end of the table. All were silent, waiting for you to begin the meeting. "Today's agenda will include but is not limited to: designating one of us to go to the United Nations to speak on behalf of the monsters, going through that paperwork for monster-owned businesses, and... casual Friday." 

Bravery grinned at the last notion. "Yeah, I'm so sick of wearing these robes to every. Single. Meeting. I get the whole 'magical conduit' thing, but we never use magic during these!" 

Integrity sighed. "I think it's more of a precautionary thing. I mean, we're extremely powerful Sorcerers. If we were to be caught off guard then it would be a pretty dire situation. We are all balanced powers." 

"As if. Apathy could never be caught off guard, with all they've seen." Justice scoffed, jerking a thumb at you. "They're older than all of us combined. They've seen everythin'." 

"Let's not talk of the unimportant things, here." Kindness said with her usual high, sweet voice. "I would rather leave the meeting as soon as possible. I must pick up my little brother from school." 

Perseverance got his notes ready, and Patience took her seat beside you, preparing a chart of the topics of the meetings. As it began, you could still hear Chara's nagging voice in your ear. 

~ 

Days like this were lovely, where you could enjoy the early summer weather and wear casual clothes for once. While you did like your Sorcerer robes (they gave your legs a ton of freedom), it could never beat the informality of a simple turtleneck, jeans, and laced boots with the slightest heel.  

Days like this reminded you of your love for tea, sitting outside of a café and reading the novel you finally could get around to. Yes, today was a day off, where you had no obligations as a Sorcerer, and you could be a normal person. 

You could feel a tap of your shoulder, and you turned around to see Frisk, Toriel, and a skeleton you didn't recognize. "Ah, nice you see you." You gave a hint of a grin. "Would you like to join me? Today is a lovely day, after all." 

Frisk was all too excited to hop in the seat next to you, and peer at the book you were reading. You showed them the title, 'And So I Fall.' "It's not as sad as it sounds. It's about a person who suddenly finds themselves in a new world, like an 'Alice in Wonderland' type of place." 

"sounds _wonder_ ful." Said the unfamiliar skeleton. You couldn't help but squint at him for his pun usage, and his grin seemed to get wider. "hehe. name's sans. sans the skeleton." He held out his bony hand to shake, which you took tentatively. You could feel your mistakes crawling up your back when the whoopie cushion made its signature sound. 

"He does that to everyone he shakes hands with." Toriel glares at him, to which he responds with a nonchalant shrug. "But it is lovely to see you today, Apathy." 

You held up a hand, shaking your head. "Please, 'Apathy' is simply something I'm called during meetings. Call me by my first name." You offered a kind smile. Finally, Toriel sat down across from you, smiling back you. 

Frisk signed to you, and Toriel translated. "You seem to be in a good mood. May I ask why?" 

"Blame it on the weather, I suppose." You said, swirling your tea. "But the warmer it gets, the better I feel. It's not to say I feel awful during the winter, or that I have SAD, I just really enjoy the warm weather." 

"i can see where you're comin' from, kid." Sans said, taking a swig from the ketchup that was set on the café table. You could feel your face scrunch up. "i think it's a human thing. you seem to wilt during the winter, but lighten up during the summer. in the underground, we didn't have seasons, just different areas where the climates were different." 

You could hear yelling from across the street, and you glanced at the commotion. Anti-monster protesters, and they were causing quite a scene. "Excuse me for a moment." You said, getting up from the table and striding across the street. You were closely followed by the three, willing to step in if things got ugly. 

"We're sick of you monsters dirtying our streets and businesses!" The leader of the protesters, a man with salt and pepper hair, spat at the shoes of a flame monster. The monster didn't look fazed, but you couldn't help but feel his displeasure. "Like this!" The human gestured to a sign that read 'Grillby's'. 

The monster, who you assumed to be Grillby, spoke quietly. "I don't see the problem here. I am running a business. I have experience and I was approved by the city to operate here." His calmness and finesse surprised you; these people knew how to get others riled up, but Grillby was unaffected. 

"The problem is that you're a monster!" A woman by the edge of the crowd yelled. They all shouted their affirmation with her. "Douse him! He's fire, isn't he?!" 

Sans stepped forward, only to be stopped by you. "If they see you trying to defend him, they'll only get even rowdier. Let me handle this."Sans looked reluctant, but agreed. You stepped in front of Grillby, hands in your pockets, as the leader was handed a pail of water. 

"Get out of my way." He snarled at you, while you raised an eyebrow. "This monster has no right to be here. He'll contaminate people in this place." 

"Actually, under Article I, Section A of the Monster Accords, monsters have every right to be on the Surface and own their own property and businesses just like humans can. Furthermore, under Article III, Section B, you can be charged with your intent to kill, just like if you committed these crimes against another human." 

The man growled, and threw caution to the wind as he tossed the bucket of water over you. But just soon as it began, it ended. You raised two fingers, catching the water with your magic. The protesters looked at you, astounded, as you threw the liquid to your side, unusable. "W-What are you?!" He asked frantically, backing up. 

"As a Sorcerer, it is my job to deem and take care of threats to society. I will not tolerate the destruction of people or property under the guise of intolerance." You gave him a freezing glare. "I will say this: You do not want to make enemies of Sorcerers. Especially one as Apathetic as me. I suggest you leave now, lest you want the authorities _and_ the Seven Chairmen to be involved." 

He was silent as he motioned for the crowd to disperse, as Grillby quietly thanked you for defending him and his establishment. You accepted his thanks, and you went back to the trio. Frisk was signing a mile a minute, too much to the point where Toriel couldn't keep up, and Sans was staring at you with a silent fondness.  

"heh. thanks, kiddo. grillbz is a good friend of mine. i don't know what i would'a done if he'd gotten hurt." He chuckled darkly; you got the impression that Sans is more than he seemed to be. Something about him felt... off. "welp. i gotta go to work. i can't believe ya let me drag me away this long." 

Sans turned around and walked away, turning a corner and disappearing from sight. Toriel gave you a fond look. "I must thank you too. You've done so much for monsters already, and shutting down the conflict without escalating it truly shows how much you care for the protection and wellbeing of others." Frisk was signing something to her; they looked happy. "Oh! And Frisk says you looked awesome!" 

You couldn't help but fluster at that, genuine compliments really were a rarity nowadays. "T-Thank you Frisk. That's very sweet of you." Frisk signed something again to Toriel, this time she looked up from them in alarm. 

"That's right!" She turned back to you. "I totally lost track of the time! Frisk has a doctor's appointment soon. So me must depart. It was nice seeing you, however. Do not be a stranger, my dear!" And with that, Toriel whisked Frisk off, leaving you alone at the table." 

Somebody behind you clicked their tongue disapprovingly, and you already knew who it was. _"So, mom replaced me. With that_ _pa_ _cifist_ _joke, no less."_ Chara scoffed, their red eyes glinting. _"I'm not surprised, though. She'll always find a kid to replace hers with."_  

"What do mean? Were you... her child? When you fell?" You spared them the slightest of glances, and they beamed at you. 

_"Yep, she adopted me when I fell to the Underground. She had a biological son too, but we both died. Can you guess how?"_  

A chill went down your spine. You didn't like where this conversation was going, their expression only made you more wary. 

_"That's right, my dear friend._ ** _You killed him_** ** _."_**  


	4. Identity of Apathy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You could feel a slight tugging in your chest, but other than that you felt normal. You wondered how long you would have to stand here; you wish you had brought your novel.
> 
> ~
> 
> In which experiments are performed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some angst, and Mettaton makes an appearance. Oh, and cliffhangers.
> 
> Today's chapter was inspired by: Lost in the Waves by Rave Cyanide
> 
> So SOUL of Apathy won't be that long, though I don't know the exact number of chapters there are. That said, there are three endings planned for the story. All three will be published, but I put up a poll on which one will be written and published first. You can find the poll here: http://www.strawpoll.me/13169608

It had been a few months since the initial meeting with Frisk, Toriel, and Gaster. Since then, you had explored more of the culture of monsterkind, met with more important figures of their society, and studied more on the nature of your SOUL with Gaster and Alphys. Sans was there on occasion, which is how you learned that Sans was more or less Gaster's 'son'. 

"Gaster," You intoned, staring at the large, covered machine in front of you. It was about twice your height, and draped in a purple curtain. It's size, and the fact that you couldn't see it intimidated you. "What is this? It seems awfully large for something like SOUL experiments. Or at least the ones we've been doing." 

"To be perfectly honest, I merely repaired it." Gaster said, tightening a bolt on the opposite side of the machine. His usually pristine lab coat was drenched in oil from the work he was performing. He tossed the wrench to the other side of the room, making Alphys jump and draw a huge line across the paper she was writing. She grumbled in frustration and turned to a new page in her notebook. "Sans is the one who built it. He said it may help with figuring out your SOUL, however. It involves using Void energies." 

You couldn't help but feel sympathy for Alphys. She was so jittery and anxious all the time, like something in the world was out to get her. She shared the secrets about her DT experiments and the Amalgamates, and you knew she still felt bad about them. It wasn't all bad, though. She had Undyne, Mettaton, and Frisk around to encourage and cheer her on. Every time they helped her, she felt a little better. "So, Sans is the more scientifically inclined of your... children. Is that right?" 

Gaster nods, taking one last look at the machine. "He is, but that's not to say Papyrus isn't intelligent, either. It's like the human 'left-brain, right-brain' debate. Sans is great with theory and equation, and Papyrus is creative and excellent with visual puzzles." He wiped his forehead with his sleeve, wiping oil from the smooth bone. "I'm going to fetch a clean lab coat, then we'll begin." He walked out of the room, removing his smeared lab coat in the process. 

There was an awkward silence as Gaster left you with Alphys, as she was quietly scribbling notes. About five minutes into the mind-numbing quiet, she spoke. "Y-You know, I think Gaster likes having you around. He seems very... involved. Which is more than I can say what he was like in the Underground." 

You couldn't help the blush that invaded your face, and you could feel the tips of your ears burning. "H-How so? He seems like a man very devoted to his work." 

"Well. Back in the Underground, he certainly did enjoy being a scientist, the leading one at that. But what he didn't like was what some of his work involved. You see..." She trailed off, choosing her words. "When humans fell to the Underground, we had to take their SOULs... and use their power to eventually destroy the Barrier. What he was tasked with, was studying the SOULs, poking and prodding until something happened. You could see how it could eventually wear someone down, messing with someone's... entire essence like that." 

When you nodded along with her explanation, she continued. "But since he started experimenting without those dire situations, namely when he started working with you, he seems to feel better about his work as a scientist." 

You couldn't help the grin on your face as he came back into the room, with a cup of coffee in one hand and a clean lab coat draped on the other. He stared at you two curiously, wondering to himself what you were just talking about, but he shrugged it from his mind. "Are you two ready to begin? Based on the notes Sans gave me, I'll be able to operate the machine correctly." He pulled the curtain from the machine, revealing a rather simple design; a metallic silver with what looked like an archway to stand under. 

You both nodded, Alphys taking a place beside Gaster with her notebook ready and you standing in front of the arch. "I'm turning on the machine now. I will tell you when you need to use your SOUL." He  said, pressing buttons behind the machine. You could feel a slight tugging in your chest, but other than that you felt normal. You wondered how long you would have to stand here; you wish you had brought your novel. "Okay, I need you to take out your SOUL." 

You did so, but something felt off. When you attempted to voice this, a sharp pain pierced your chest, so intense that you sank to your knees. It was _excruciating_ , like you were stabbed in the same spot over and over again by a rusty dagger. The pain began to spread throughout your body, as you reflexively coughed to get air into your system. You noticed specks of red on the ground where you coughed. Your vision began to blur. 

"D-Dr. Gaster! Turn the machine off! They're reacting terribly!" After Gaster turned off the machine, Alphys was by your side, trying to stabilize you. You were too far gone, losing consciousness. All you could focus on was the surge of pain invading your body. "H-Hang in there! You'll be okay... Y-You'll be..." 

You didn't hear another coherent word as you closed your eyes, passing out from the pain. The last you heard were two concerned voices, one stuttering over themselves, the other uncharacteristically concerned. 

~ 

You awoke on a large couch, a dull throbbing in your chest from the earlier stress. You weren't in the lab anymore, but on the floors above. You could hear humming in the background, in a rather upbeat tune, but you were too numb to really focus on it. You tried sitting up, but in protest, your head pulsated with pain. With reluctance, you lay back down on the couch. 

You saw Papyrus enter the room, with his 'Kiss the Great Papyrus' apron and all, and he grinned. "WHY, HELLO HUMAN! I SEE YOU ARE AWAKE! FRET NOT! YOUR WAKING MOMENTS ARE SOON TO BE FILLED WITH SPAGHETTI!" He ran off to the kitchen, the happy expression affixed to his face. 

You had met Papyrus a couple months ago, after the altercation between you and the anti-monster protesters. As courtesy, Toriel had invited you to her home for dinner, and refusing such a kind offer was rather rude. When you arrived, Sans and Papyrus were there, along with Gaster. Papyrus was excited to meet you, he brought celebratory spaghetti. It wasn't... bad, but you could tell he used store-brand pasta. You later learned from Sans he never eats the pasta he makes. It seemed counter-intuitive, but you weren't one to judge, especially when they made you food. 

Blinking the sleep away from your eyes, you sat up again, this time slowly. You were pleased when your head didn't try to attack you that time. The lab coat you were given earlier was gone, and your shoes were removed, but no other part of your clothes were gone. Not that you thought they would take advantage of you, but you always felt that the more you had on, the warmer and more secure you felt. That was why you liked wearing your robes so much. 

"Papyrus," you said, catching the skeleton's attention. He looked over at you, eye sockets curious as to what you wanted to ask him, "Who brought me here? While I was passed out." 

"THAT WOULD BE GASTER," he said, your eyes widening in shock. When he saw that you weren't going to speak, he continued. "HE BROUGHT YOU HERE, AND ALPHYS CAME WITH HIM TOO. I ADMIT I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM SO FREAKED OUT IN A WHILE. HE WAS VERY PANICKY ABOUT YOUR HEALTH. GASTER IS MOST LIKELY BESIDE HIMSELF WITH WORRY." 

You felt terrible, causing him so much concern when all you had was a little chest pain. While that was the understatement of the century, you still felt bad when Papyrus said he was worried for your well-being. "Where is he? I have to tell him I'm okay." 

The skeleton shook his head, refusing to look at you, "EVEN IF I DID TELL YOU, YOU WOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO LEAVE. GASTER TOLD ME YOUR SOUL WAS VERY FRAIL RIGHT NOW. HE SAID IF IT WAS INJURED EVEN IN THE SLIGHTEST WAY, IT MAY SHATTER." 

You sucked in a breath. Your SOUL could break? After that experiment? You know it had taken a large toll on your body, but you didn't know the damage on your SOUL was so bad. With a reluctant sigh, you gave up trying to leave the house and find Gaster. Instead, you relaxed again on the couch, Papyrus giving you a plate of spaghetti and taking a seat next to you. 

"I KNOW IT DOESN'T SEEM GOOD RIGHT NOW, AND MAYBE NOW ISN'T THE BEST TIME TO SHARE THIS." Papyrus said, going into the kitchen once more to pick up a file folder and hand it to you. "BUT GASTER SAID WHILE YOU DID  NOT GO THROUGH THE TEST PAINLESSLY, HE DID MAKE A BREAKTROUGH ON YOUR SOUL." 

Tenderly taking the folder, you opened it up and began to read the documents inside. While there were many things you couldn't hope to understand, you did see a few things that caught your eye. One was a photograph of your SOUL, in all its dripping glory, then a caption underneath it that said, 'The first Apathy SOUL.' So you truly were the first. 

You flipped the page, reading on. The test had concluded that your SOUL was indeed unique, and that it was coated in the energy of the Void. The paper theorized this connection to the Void could be a reason why you've been living so long, but you knew all this already, you wanted to know something new, something conclusive. 

You turned the page. 

That's when you gasped. On the page, it said, 'While the SOUL's nature is usually concrete, as in, cannot be changed, the dripping Void energies have convinced me otherwise. I believe that underneath the layers of the SOUL, a true color is underneath. A defining nature to the SOUL. While I do not believe it is Determination, I believe any other of the six SOUL types could be the SOUL's true nature." 

Holy. Hell. 

Could this be it? Could this be the mystery of your SOUL? If you extract the Void energies, could you finally live without Apathy? But what would happen to you? Your SOUL didn't know anything else. Would it truly be okay as one of the regular SOUL types? Or would the removal of the Void be harmful? What if it killed you? What if it did something worse. 

But you were also happy. The lifelong mystery of your SOUL was finally unfolding, and you couldn't help but ask yourself what the true color of your SOUL was. Green, violet, indigo, orange, yellow, blue? Each one were possible candidates, and you couldn't help but feel your chest fill up with fondness. Gaster had done so much for you, he even figured out what your SOUL was truly like. 

"Thank you, Papyrus, for giving this to me." You said, smiling at him. "I really did need this now. I can finally figure out who I truly am." 

He grinned back at you, "IT IS NO PROBLEM, HUMAN! I AM GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU ARE HAPPY." It was then that his phone rang, and he turned away from you to answer it. "HELLO? METTATON? YOU'RE COMING OVER? BUT I ALREADY HAVE A GUEST." Papyrus went quiet, letting the other speak. "… OF COURSE! THEY WOULD BE DELIGHTED! I WILL SEE YOU SOON." He hung up, grinning widely at you. You had a very bad feeling about this. 

About fifteen minutes later, there was a knock on the door. When Papyrus went to open it, the door burst open, revealing a rather flamboyantly dressed robot with probably the best legs you've ever seen. "So, darling, is this the human I've been hearing so much about?" Mettaton walked over to you, making a point to swing his hips as he walked. "It is so nice to finally meet you, darling! I've heard so much about you. Tell me your name, first and foremost." 

After you told Mettaton your name, his eyes lit up. Literally, his eyes got brighter. "What a suiting name for you, darling! Toriel was right, they really are a knockout." Mettaton said without subtlety to Papyrus, making your face flush. "Tell me, darling: a person like you can't possibly be single. Do you have  anyone you fancy?" 

Your face got even redder, and Mettaton's grin got even wider. "So there is! Well, I won't pry, I know how personal love can get." He said, making you let out a sigh of relief. You really dodged a bullet. "Just know that I am behind you one-hundred percent!" 

You gave him a small grin. "I appreciate it, Mettaton." While flamboyant and completely off the rails, Mettaton seemed nice enough. He was that friend who is normally kind, if not a bit over-excited. He was also be that friend who would defend your honor at all costs. 

"SO, METTATON." Papyrus started, getting the robots attention. "I UNDERSTAND YOU WANT ME TO GO OUT TO SEE YOUR SHOW, BUT THE HUMAN WAS ADVISED TO STAY HERE. I CAN'T LEAVE THEM HERE BY THEMSELVES." 

"so why don't we all go?" A voice said from upstairs. You didn’t even know Sans was home, he usually has to work at the hot dog stand by now. Sans came down and winked at you, and you were wondering how he could do that. "we can all watch the show, and i'll keep an eyesocket out for the human." 

Mettaton was silent for a moment, as if trying to process the information. He then burst out saying, "What a brilliant idea! Come now, we can all take the limo! It will be here soon, my driver is just circling around." He linked his arm around Papyrus', causing an orange tint on the tall skeleton's face, and they both left the house, leaving you and Sans. 

"it's best not to fight it." Sans said, opening the door for you. "once mettaton's got his eye set on something, he never gives up." 

"I don't think it's the best idea to go, after what happened earlier." You said, Sans locking his eyes with yours. "My chest still kind of hurts." 

Sans shook his head, leading you out the door. "nah, it'll be okay. i was the one who built that machine, after all. i read g's notes, and i have a pretty good idea on what's going on with you." He turned to face you, his perpetual grin still on his face. "don't worry about it. i'm tougher then i look." 

You weren't completely reassured, but you felt okay with this. While you were climbing into the limo, that feeling went away, almost as if you knew something bad was going to happen. 

**Author's Note:**

> And there is the first chapter of SOUL of Apathy. This chapter I'm feeling around for character personalities, so bear with me if things seem off.
> 
> I made this. This is not Apathy's appearance, just the clothes: http://fav.me/db8wtos
> 
> If you have any questions about the story/headcannons you'd like to share/other, contact me at my dA (mentioned above) or my tumblr.  
> fightandshine.tumblr.com


End file.
